affairs with the forbidden CH~5

Fuck… FUCK! He sat there, his eyes non stop flowing and falling of tears. Today was shit… and he was to blame. I need mikey… I need mikey now.

 Mikey looked at gee as he sat on the couch. His hands were over his face, crying softly while mikey just sat there, trying to get him to say what was wrong.

“gee, man you gotta speak to me, you rang and now you wont say anything,” gee could tell mikey was worried for him, but he just couldn’t speak. “come on dude, tell me what’s goin on,”

“i… I broke up with kat, and she fuckin blew man… she fuckin lost it… started, calling me these names I never would’ve thought she’d call me… and, it’s all gone down the shit,” mikey stared, not knowing exactly what to say.

“oh fuuckk, gee… I am soo sorry, I didn’t know… wh… why? What happened? Why did you split with her?” gee just looked up at mikey, his eyes red sore from the salty tears he’s been crying for the past hour.

“I don’t know man… it just… wasn’t working, and… I am a fucking cunt… I hurt her so bad,” his head fell back into his hands with a long wail of sorrow.

“Gerard, you are not a cunt… you are anything BUT a cunt… she’s just angry and hurt, I mean… this is a big shock for her and me, I mean… I’m lost for words,” mikey rubbed his forehead still trying to process what had just taken place.

“I know, I know she is hurt… I know everyone will be, but it just wasn’t right… ya know? I don’t love her… I don’t, I can’t make myself… can I,” gee’s voice was jolty as he sniffled and dried his eyes.

“I know you can’t, fuck… the heart wants what it wants, but… god, I don’t even know Gerard, just… let her go tonight and try ringin her tomorrow… sort it out, you can stay with me and Alicia if you like,” gee saw mikey give him a smile, one that was welcoming for any situation, one that made him feel safe and at home.

“thanks man… I appreciate it aye, I’ll just get some clothes,” he slowly walked off into the room before sitting on the bed.

Just breathe gee, it’ll be fine… don’t worry about it, she’s just bitter… because she loved you… and, fuck knows how she is feeling right now, just do like mikey said… wait till tomorrow to ring, just wait…

His thoughts were comforting, but he was still shaky as he walked back to the lounge.

“ok, ya ready?” gee just nodded, swallowing and sniffing at the same time.

The car was silent, even the engine couldn’t be heard. Gerard’s head was filled, replaying the actions that had just taken place. How could I be so cold towards her? Why did she go off like that, I thought she might’ve tried to talk more, fuck I feel like shit… kat, I am sorry, I really am. He kept saying sorry in his head, believing that maybe she could hear him… if only.

“come on gee, you’ve gotta talk about it other wise you’ll just get depressed,” Alicia and mikey sat opposite gee on the couch.

Gerard just looked at them, as if though he was high off of anything, his eyes groggy and his mouth dry. It even hurt him to speak.

“I don’t know if I want to talk mikey,”

“dude, you always… always make me talk… so don’t do that…” gee curved his lips, he could tell he was going to cry again… those stinging tears he hated with a passion.

“what is there? i… broke up with her, and she flew… and now I feel like… a dick,” short breaths in between helped him keep his tears at bay.

“tell us why gee,” Alicia leant forward.

“I don’t love her… I don’t, I can’t…” he looked up at them. “not if I love someone else,” his words were a whisper that carried on in the dark. It seemed to echo.

“what?” mikey aid leaning forward also.

“i… I love someone else,” keeping his tears down was impossible, they spilled unevenly onto his cheeks, racing down and dripping from his chin onto his hand.

“what?” mikey said again, not taking in what he had just said.

“stop saying what mikey… you heard me, I love someone else… and, it fucking sucks…” his voice was low and grumbled, making it near impossible for mikey and Alicia to hear.

“who is it gee? Does kat know?” gee felt alicia’s hand on his, it was comforting for what it was worth.

“no… she doesn’t, not that I know of… and I can’t say,” his eyes were glossy as he looked up at them.

“come on, you’ve got to tell us so we can help,” her words were soft and reassuring… but he still wasn’t keen on saying whom.

“I don’t know… I feel as if I tell… I’ll be hated and looked down on,” his head rested into his spare hand.

“don’t be stupid Gerard, just say her… or his name,” a small sarcastic like laugh escaped gee’s mouth.

“it’s a her… fuck, i… I can’t,” his brow line became more visible as he was thinking whether to say it or not.

“gee, it’s just me and mikey… we wont tell a soul if you don’t want us to,” he smiled as he felt her grip on his hand tighten.